Why Attitude Changes Everything

Pattie has invited us to write a post about why and how attitude has made a difference in our weight loss journeys. Here goes, Pattie...

This is certainly not my first thrill ride when it comes to losing weight. In fact, I've ridden the weight loss roller coaster ever since seventh grade. I still remember the day my dad first commented on my weight, which by then, had already crept up to 145 - the same number my P.E. teacher pronounced loudly enough for the entire class to hear when I stepped on the scale.

Ironically, the only place I felt comfortable during those years was at the local YMCA, where my athletic build wasn't out of place. In fact, I practically lived in a swimsuit, working as a life guard and swimming instructor all the way through high school.

I'm not sure what happened after college when I got married and birthed a baby, except that aerobic exercise of any kind fell completely off my radar. Whenever I needed to lose weight for a special event, I simply picked from the current menu of gimmick diets and practically starved myself back into a random size.

Looking back over the past 30 years, I realize that even when I got my weight back down to seventh-grade level, I still FELT FAT. Consequently, my thoughts always sounded like this: You look fat. Your thighs are huge. You don't even have a waist. You'll always be fat.

In response, my body simply manifested my thoughts. It worked hard to make me fat, to make my thighs large, to increase my waist size and to keep me overweight. Eventually, I reached a point last year when I finally threw in the towel and said, "What the heck? I'm fat and I know it. I might as well enjoy eating."

To get started, I took everything off my "prohibited foods list." I stuffed myself over and over, eating foods I had avoided most of my life - pizza, doughnuts, desserts, pastas, etc. As I packed on the pounds, I became more depressed and more miserable than ever...afraid I would never be able to stop the vicious cycle of destruction that consumed my waking moments and disturbed my sleep at night.

Somewhere toward the end of last year, I read Wayne Dyer's book, "Being in Balance." I was challenged by Dr. Dyer's assertion that I am not WHAT I eat so much as I am what I BELIEVE about what I eat.

Finally, on January 15, 2008, at home with the flu, I watched Oprah's show for the first time in my life. I heard Bob Greene describe what he termed "The BestLife." I cried as Oprah said loving yourself means honoring yourself and your own feelings first.

I agreed with Bob: "Losing weight is not that complicated. You simply have to eat fewer calories than you burn." But I also knew that logic alone would not get me off the killer coaster ride. I knew I had to change my thinking. I knew had to change my attitude. For that, I turned to Oprah's other buddy, Dr. Phil McGraw, and his book, "The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom."

Having already signed the BestLife contract with myself, I worked through Dr. Phil's book like an alcoholic works the 12 steps. Six months later, I still keep the book within arm's reach at my desk because I've been at this weight before - although I'm in better physical condition than I've been in 30 years - and I don't want to slide back to where I started.

During the last six years, I've learned that the only way for me not to get drunk is never to take the first drink. I'm learning that the only way for me not to regain the 50 pounds I've lost is to monitor my eating and exercise habits as consciously as I avoid alcohol.

The difference this time is I'm no longer afraid. I'm willing to be honest with myself. I'm willing to step on the scale once a week. I'm willing to 'write what I bite.' I'm willing to maintain a no-fail environment. I'm willing to exercise regularly. I'm willing to be accountable to a support team.

Has my attitude changed? You bet. How has it changed? I'm no longer moaning over the past. I'm not anxious about the future. Today - right now - is what's important. And the right decisions I make right now are the ones that will add up to right thinking and right habits. And when it's all said and done, everything will be all right.

Resources:
Being In Balance: 9 Principles for Creating Habits to Match Your Desires

The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom

A Healthy LIfestyle Loves Company

Before I quit smoking in 2000, it was uncomfortable to be around friends who had quit. Truthfully, they probably didn't like being around me as much anymore, either.

Dr. Phil says if we hope to keep our weight off, we have to live the motto that "a healthy lifestyle loves company." My company this week is my 14-month old grandson - a precious example of a healthy lifestyle. Hats off to all you moms who are still chasing youngsters! But, wow! It's SO much more fun when I'm not out of breath every few minutes.

As we transform our lives (which is a lot different than "going on a diet"), there is a noticeable difference in how we engage the world. We have changed our momentum to create a life of energy, meaning and purpose - according to Dr. Phil.

"There really are no limits to what we can now achieve, nothing to push us down, because we look better, and live better," he says. "Continue to press on with an optimistic spirit."

Have a great week, everybody, and thanks for all your comments yesterday. I was overwhelmed!

Quotes from The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom

Start Acting Like a Thin Person

I'll always remember the first time I read Dr. Phil's line: "Staying fat has been working for you in some fashion." What??

I had never thought about what sorts of payoffs I got from obesity: insulation from the opposite sex, neutralizing sexual attractiveness, an "occupational buffer zone" to hide femininity to protect myself from the attention at work, an excuse for failure ("I didn't get the job, sign up for the class, etc., because I'm overweight.").

In his book, The Ultimate Weight Solution, Dr. Phil points out it is precisely this sort of discomfort that makes us push the panic button and start working at cross-purposes with our healthy goals. Managing weight from behind these defenses is doomed to fail.
We MUST disconnect!

Changing our "fat mind-set" and "fixed fat beliefs" means we have to become comfortable in our new, trimmer bodies while we're dumping "psychological fat." To do this, we must act like the thin,
fit person we really are.

"Even if it doesn't feel completely right," he says, "we can move in that direction with some simple but positive actions."

* Look at your reflection in the mirror more often to acclimate yourself to your new shape and image.
* Face with courage those situations you formerly feared - wearing a bathing suit, trying on new clothes, going to certain parties.
* Stay with your exercise program in order to appreciate your own strength and feel good about your body.
* Replace negative self-talk about your body with affirming,
accurate thoughts.

Peeling away fixed assumptions by disposing of their payoffs and demolishing limiting beliefs that tell us we are worthless and not deserving of success is the first step to developing new ways of thinking. True knowledge and insight will lead to a life of peace where we are comfortable in our newly transformed bodies.

Thanks, Dr. Phil. I needed to hear that again today.

Quotes from The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom

ICU: Intensive Cardio Unit

Here's a funny one:

This morning, while visiting with my mother in a local hospital waiting room where my stepfather had surgery this morning, she said, "Honey, you look great. I can just see the weight
falling off of you."

It was all I could do not to roll on the floor laughing. Bless her 125-pound self. She truly meant her statement as a compliment...but still! Anybody who is on this journey knows the weight NEVER seems to just FALL OFF. Instead, it CREEPS off - itsy bit by itsy bit - after hundreds of healthy food choices and endless hours on the cardio circuit.

But Mom's idea was a lovely thought, wasn't it? And mine, on the other hand, is actually pretty pessimistic.

As a matter of fact, starting right now, I will incorporate HER vision into my daily personal affirmations:

"...Now that I've found the discipline to eat according to my needs rather than being driven by self-destructive habits, impulses or diets, I am able to face the day without overeating. And because I exercise as a matter of habit, my body functions at its peak - metabolizing calories quickly and efficiently - leaving me free to forget about food and instead, to use my increased energy for productive, enjoyable activities..."

Quote adapted in part from Key No. 4 in The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom

Run, Ready Maid, Run!

A couple of weeks ago, a few well-meaning folks who knew of my upcoming media trip to Brenham, Texas, said, "You're gonna hafta eat; so, you might as well prepare yourself.
Setbacks are inevitable."

Ummm, maybe not. In the first place, if I were to actually believe that, the entire universe would go to work
to create setbacks for me. Period.

Secondly, I believe that knowing ahead of time when you're going to be in challenging situations creates an opportunity to PREPARE and STRATEGIZE. To do otherwise is to digress into rationalizing irrational behavior, making food our "sweet poison," as Dr. Phil says. "This sort of payoff system, in which you reward yourself with food or overeating, is irrational, counterproductive and cannot be a plus in any sense of the word," he continues. "It undoes any good you've done to yourself and shifts into reverse any progress you've made toward your weight-loss goal. Stop justifying your behavior in that manner." That makes sense.

With that in mind, I'm writing this post in preparation for next week's media trip to south Louisiana to explore the state's new Culinary Trails program. (Deep breath.) "We will greet you at the airport with jalapeno sausage bread and follow that with boudin to hold you over until our late lunch at 1:30," the itinerary begins. (One peep at those nutrition labels will curb your appetite in a heartbeat!)

Here's how I will stay on-plan while I'm gone:
* Continue aerobic exercise by Cajun dancing at Randol's, using the treadmill in the hotel gyms and walking the B&B grounds.
* Continue strength training, using the ProGym I will pack in my suitcase.
* Order substitutes for high-fat, high-calorie items, when possible.
* Pack protein bars and purchase fruit to keep in my hotel room.
* Take my camera and notepad to every meal, so that when set menus dictate off-plan choices, I can spend time taking pictures (of uneaten food) and interviewing the chef. By the time I actually start eating, everybody else will be nearly finished - giving me an opportunity to "taste" food without being too obvious that I am not consuming full portions.
* Smile, smile, smile. Getting fit is a privilege, not a punishment.
My intent is to make no one who is aware of my goals feel that I am being deprived of anything.
* Blog each night I'm on the road. You folks are a tremendous support system for which I am most grateful.

Quotes from The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom

Healthy You Challenge Check In

The seventh key in Dr. Phil's "The Ultimate Weight Solution" is about assembling a circle of support.

"You need people to believe in you, and if they cannot do that, then you may have to re-invent your relationships and surround yourself with people who will...Don't continue to pretend that you don't know who has your best interests at heart and who does not. You know it as surely as you are sitting there. Give yourself permission to act on that knowledge and claim your right to a healthy existence."

Fortunately, I didn't have to nix any folks off my list. I've got a great group of supporters who fall into the slots on Dr. Phil's recommended team:

* The Coach - someone with technical expertise or professional training who can provide knowledge on nutrition, exercise or some other aspect of health management. (For me, it's my trainer.)

* The Teammate - someone whose weight loss and fitness goals are similar to your own. (My hubby falls into this category, as does my workout buddy.)

* The Cheerleader - Someone to give you honest, meaningful words of encouragement, building you up at critical times and offering support without a hint of judgmental attitude. (This is my sister and YOU!)

* The Umpire - This is a good observer and listener who cares enough about you to tell you the truth, constructively and helpfully. (You'll recognize him as Dr. George Monta when he comments.)

So far, this approach is working wonders to help me maintain accountability and a commitment to healthy living.

Since January 15, I have lost 25 pounds and 24.75 inches.
Thanks, everybody!

Quotes from The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom

Whatchu Say!?

Today, I recognized a pattern of thinking that recurs each time I approach this stage of weight loss. Because my mind can't seem to wrap around the changes in my body, the internal dialogue goes like this: "Wow, I'm starting to feel thin. My clothes are getting loose. Healthy eating and exercise are starting to pay off."

"Are you kidding?" the other voice answers. "You still weigh more than your brother! Have you measured your thighs lately??"

And so it goes, ad nauseum. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Fertile Healthy posted a passage written by Christine Northrup that suggests women need to be in tune with their bodies.

"What is your image of yourself? How do you think you look to the world? To yourself? Through years of chronic dissatisfaction with their bodies and chronic dieting, many women develop an unrealistic image of themselves. Some feel much heavier than they actually are. But women who are in touch with their inner guidance system will often appear taller and more imposing physically than their actual body size indicates. The way you feel about yourself creates an electromagnetic field of energy around you that broadcasts these feelings to the world and attracts your reality to you. Choose your signal consciously."

Dr. Phil advises that we combat negative internal dialog with a confident verbal affirmation that reinforces mastery over previously destructive behaviors:

"It feels good to be in control. When I get up in the morning, I'm excited about the day. No longer ashamed of my reflection in the mirror, I like what I see and I'm proud of who I am. I've found the discipline to eat according to my needs rather than being driven by self-destructive habits, impulses, or diets. Able to face the day without overeating, I no longer allow habit and cues to dictate my life. I have a rock-solid foundation for my new eating habits that cannot be destroyed. I live more fully now that my body is functioning better, and I am free to forget about food and get on with living. Gone are my old excesses, and I now have time to use for productive, enjoyable activities....When I walk into a room, people are cheering for me because they have known and shared my struggle...As my body gets thinner, healthier and more athletic, I experience it with greater awareness and pleasure. I have gained a new satisfaction and self-respect in whatever I choose to do. I know life wont be a bed of roses in the future any more than it is today, but I know how to deal with difficulties. I know how to handle life with greater maturity. I know how to cope with life in positive ways without escaping into food. I am no longer going in circles but moving forward with tremendous clarity about why I am in this world and what I am supposed to do while I am here. There is adventure in my day and joy in my heart. I have learned to live a life of meaning and significance."

As I move forward, my intention is to repeat this sort of affirmation out loud until it drowns out the "other" voice that wants to doubt, question and undermine the progress I am making.

How do you monitor your internal dialog?

(Dr. Phil's quote from The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom)

The Numbers Game

"So, what size dress are you wearing these days?" asked my workout buddy, who has just returned from a three-week vacation in sunny California.

"Still in a 16," I answered, floundering in unexpected vulnerability.

"How did that happen?" she replied, innocently enough. Inside, though, it felt as if she had accused me of falling off the fitness wagon while she was away.

(Instantly, I remembered Dr. Phil's advice about internal dialogue and realized I am the only one who can let a friend's casual question create a toxic inner environment
for me. A convincing heap of evidence proving
I'm on the right track - 20 pounds and
17.75 inches lost since January 15 - barricaded the barrage of wrong thinking that had created
my uncomfortable moment in the first place.)

After a deep breath, I answered calmly, "It happened before I started the BestLife plan, when I had gotten too big for a 16.
I simply refused to buy any larger sizes. And although the 16's
are comfortably loose now, I'm not quite back into the 14's."

So keep comin' around, Cowgirls. We ain't even close to the end
of this trail.

Need help balancing your own numbers?
Read Moon's excellent post.

Need help with internal dialogue?
Read this 2 Book Set: The Ulitmate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom/The Ultimate Weight Solution Food Guide

Tight Tuesday

First the good news. I am pleased to report another two-pounds plus 3.25-inch loss this week, bringing my BestLife totals to 18 pounds and 17.75 inches lost since January 15. Right now, I am two weeks ahead of schedule on my seven-month trek to goal weight and fitness. (DH has also lost 22 pounds.) Additionally, I have reduced my waist-to-hip ratio from .94 to .89 - which is still in the high-risk category; but we're making progress!

Next, the other news. Yesterday is the first day in over a month I missed my regularly scheduled aerobics class and strength-training session. Surveying my calendar, I realize commitments have piled up again. During dinner time last night, I caught myself gulping down food and not putting my fork down between bites...an old habit of eating unconsciously.

After only 3-1/2 hours sleep (because I was on deadline to finish a story), I woke up this morning to find the ground covered with snow. My body feels stiff, begging me to go walk or go work out, but I'm buried with work that's due now. The words from Dr. Phil's opening chapter are ringing in my ears: "If you are chronically overweight, I know that your manner of living can be characterized as inert, harried and chaotic."

My next intention is to set aside a specific time each week, and a smaller amount of time at the end of each day to structure my schedule to accomplish priorities first as part of my commitment to "positively manage the stress in my life in order to stop overeating in response to stressful events."

No, I didn't overeat, binge or indulge yesterday. But I thought about it, and that's a signal I need to re-balance. Again.

Have you found this journey to be like holding a baseball bat upright in your palm?

(Quotes from 2 Book Set: The Ulitmate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom/The Ultimate Weight Solution Food Guide)

Gut Level Honesty

A short six weeks ago, I sat silent with laryngitis and the flu, watching Oprah's show for the very first time. It might as well have been church for me. At the end of Bob Greene's message, I responded to his invitation to accept the 2008 BestLife Challenge.

I was, as Dr. Phil says, at the crossroads, ready to get off the fence, ready to begin translating my insights, understandings and awareness into purposeful, meaningful, constructive action.

I made up my mind that 52 years old is not too late to begin. I was ready to wipe the slate clean, start over (again!),
and reclaim my health and my life...
no matter how much it hurt to change.

Then I read Oprah's preface to Bob Greene's book (see sidebar): "What I know for sure is that living an unconscious life is like being the walking dead. All my fat years - my unconscious years - are a blur to me now. It's only because I have photographs and diaries that I remember them at all. And sometimes, even then I don't remember being present, because I wasn't really there."

THAT'S ME, I sobbed. Every "fat year" I created was a real bummer in one way or another. Here I was again, making another
"searching and fearless moral inventory" of myself.

Dr. Phil says it this way: "Effective weight management demands that you require more of yourself in terms of personal integrity, honesty and maturity. Get real enough with yourself to say, 'I'm mature and honest enough not to play mind games with myself.'"

So...in learning to be accountable (again!), I am pleased to report that by following Dr. Phil's principles and The BestLife program of healthy eating and regular exercise, I have lost 17 pounds and 14-1/2 inches since January 15.

***And my DH has lost 22 pounds!!

(Dr. Phil's quotes from 2 Book Set: The Ulitmate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom/The Ultimate Weight Solution Food Guide.)

Recommended: Blue Emu

Who wouldn't want to work out with weights after reading this?

* Weight training is an excellent way to give those unwanted pounds a speedier heave-ho.

*Exercising with weights burns fat and preserves muscle while you're losing weight. (Nearly 100 percent of the weight you lose is pure fat if you weight train.)
It strengthens your muscles, joints and bones.
It decreases insulin levels so your body is in better hormonal balance. And it makes maintaining your weight loss a breeze.

* Each pound of body-firming muscle you add to your frame becomes a fat-incinerating furnace, allowing you to eat moderate amounts of food without worrying about gaining fat.

(Tips from 2 Book Set: The Ulitmate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom/The Ultimate Weight Solution Food Guide.)

What Dr. Phil forgot to say is how to get past the first few workouts when every muscle hurts.

Here's my recommendation: BLUE EMU!!

I first heard about Blue Emu at a birthday party for a woman of a certain age, whose friends made up appropriate lyrics about her favorite product to the tune of "Blue Bayou."

After the party, one of the hostesses gave me a jar of the mysterious turquoise gel, which I promptly put away...until I started weight training.

Believe me, it works. Now I'm a Blue Emu-ing Fat-Incinerating Furnace. And that's HOT, Baby!

Stop Living Like a Lazy Slug

A refined Southern lady, my mother used to whisper a familiar reminder over the top of her fan during the heat of Louisiana summers, "Honey, we don't sweat; we glisten."

Dr. Phil isn't quite so genteel when he tackles the statistic that
66 percent of all Americans do not exercise. Unfortunately,
flopping a fan back and forth doesn't count as exercise.

*Failure to put exercise at the top of your priority list, or leaving it off the list altogether, is a deal breaker, because you are cheating yourself not only out of a way to shed unnecessary pounds, but also a way to stabilize a normal weight and stay healthy for a lifetime.

*Your mission is to overcome the inertia you now have and replace it with the forward momentum and direction you want.

* To really get your weight under control, you must stop living like
a lazy slug.

* Either you get this or your don't.

Sooo, this morning I popped out $25 to hire a personal trainer to set me up on a strength-building program. Toward the end of each set of 20 reps, I had to visualize a clear blue sky, sparkling turqoise water, clean white sand and palm trees blowing in the salt breeze.

I sweat. I hurt. But I did it. And I'll do it again. I am not a lazy slug. Not anymore.

Tips from:
The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom

Plate Up the Right Portion

I'm no math whiz, but I can divide a plate into four sections to plan meals without confusing the issue with details about food groups, points, fat or carb grams, etc.

Here's Dr. Phil's solution:

At each meal, fill one section of the plate with a protein, another section with a starch, and the remaining two sections with vegetables of a vegetable and a fruit. Proportioned in this manner, these foods form the foundation of your daily meals.

I agree that if you're trying to control your intake of a substance, even if that substance is food, you have to get your focus off it, or you'll only be fueling your obsession.

Here's his easy way to measure portion control relative to the size of your hand or a tennis ball:

* A serving of meat, fish or poultry should be about the size of the palm of your hand.

* Fruit and vegetable servings should be about the size of your hand when it is cupped, or about the size of a tennis ball (which equals 1/2 cup). Same for a serving of cottage cheese, rice, pasta, cereal or starchy vegetables.

* Whenever you need a cupful of something like milk or yogurt, a serving the size of a fist or two tennis balls is about the right amount.

* A slice of bread, one small roll, or half a bagel or bun counts as one serving.

* A serving of sandwich cheese is one slice.

* As for fats and oil or nuts and seeds, a reasonable serving is about the size of your thumb (or half your thumb if you have big fingers).

Once you get the hang of it, portion management becomes automatic.

Tips from The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom
Tuesday Weigh-in:
Since January 15, I've lost 15 pounds and 12-1/2 inches.

Fork Over the Calories

Overweight people usually share common eating habits: eating too fast, eating while watching TV, eating somewhere other than the dining room table, etc.

DH is the king of fast eating. Most of the time, he stands at the kitchen counter to wolf down only a few bites of BestLife breakfast before dashing off to work because he would rather sleep through three snoozes than to get up a few minutes early to eat more slowly. We're going to talk about this over the weekend.

When you eat too fast, you shovel in enormous amounts of calories without realizing it. By then, it's too late for your brain to signal your stomach it's full - a process that usually takes 20 minutes.

One way to slow down your eating is to put down your utensils between bites.

Dr. Philcites the case of Glenn,
a patient who finally felt ready to lose 50 pounds.

"He made only one change at first. A habitually fast eater, Glenn learned to put his utensils down after each bite. From counting his caloric intake at meals, we discovered that he had slashed his calories practically in half just by using this delaying tactic, yet he still felt satisfied even though he was eating much less. Glenn felt neither deprived nor threatened by this change; it was no big sacrifice. Each week, he would drop anywhere from 1 to 2 pounds, without much effort on his part."

I knew that. My mother's been saying it all my life. Duh.

Develop Right Thinking: Conscious I.D.

Strangled by a case of laryngitis today, I am more conscious of the conversations romping through my brain.

In Chapter Four of
The Ultimate Weight Solution:
The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom,Dr. Phil recommends we filter all interal dialogue
through these four questions:

1. Is the internal dialogue

TRUE?

2. Does your internal dialogue

SERVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS?

3. Does your internal dialogue

PROTECT AND ADVANCE YOUR HEALTH?

4. Is your internal dialogue

HELPING YOU ACHIEVE YOUR
WEIGHT-MANAGEMENT GOALS?

Good medicine for everyday use.

We Admitted...

Nobody likes to admit defeat. Nobody likes to admit life has become unmanageable.
I didn't really consider - until today - that I have used food to medicate myself in much the same way I used to use alcohol. Bummer.

Here's an excerpt from page 48 of The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom:

"If you are chronically overweight, I know that your manner of living can be characterized as inert, harried and chaotic. You do not exercise; you are not a member of a gym; or if you are, you haven't actually graced the door of one in ages, and quite predictably, your main leisure time activity is watching television. Even your internal and emotional reactions are keeping your weight-sustaining lifestyle alive. Yes, you have set up your world and chosen your lifestyle in a way that supports staying overweight. You have chosen to live in a way in which no other result could occur."

Ouch, ouch, ouch. Yes, that was me until 12 days ago. But with the help of folks like Bob Greene and Phil McGraw, I'm learning to structure a different lifestyle - one day at a time.

And if I could describe this place of renewed hope, it would
sound like this.